The incredible, amazing adventures of a girl and her two greyhounds living in a small town in the boon-docks of Maine.
12.25.2013
12.19.2013
Is It...(Gulp)...NEW?
Pillow has reached "yesterday's news" status. When Mumma throws this away, Blue will hold it against me. |
We have an odd dynamic in our house with respect to “new”
things. A new thing is defined as
anything that has not existed in the house or car since the beginning of
greyhound time. When we’re out and
about, it is apparently expected that we will frequently encounter new things
and thus, in that context it is OK. If
it happens in the safe zone (house or car) luckily for us there seems to be an
established protocol for dealing with such horrors.
When a new thing arrives in the safe zone, let’s say for
example, a dog bed, it is an object of great concern. One might get close enough to it for a quick
sniff and then remove oneself to a safe distance to ponder the smell. If passing by said new object, one gives it a
wide berth. You never know if the new
object might reach out and bite you.
Better safe than sorry as the old adage goes.
After a period of time observing the new thing and with
careful consultation amongst the canine residents of the safe zone, someone is
elected to investigate more closely. The
electee then gets a little closer to the new thing, and, in the case of our
example dog bed, would step on it and jump right back off. Electee reports back to group as a
whole.
TSA (Crandall), an inherent cowboy. |
Assuming the electee is not eaten, then the rest of the
group will consider it safe enough to also investigate the new thing more
thoroughly. After this, the new thing
experiences a metamorphosis from scary new object, to coveted object. There follows a running battle to be the one
who gets to use the new thing. With our
example dog bed, that means a free for all to be the one to lie on the new bed.
There are, as always, exceptions to any rule. Some dogs are inherent cowboys. Grammy’s hound Crandall is this sort. He never met a new thing he didn’t want to
stick his head in and see what’s going on.
We call him TSA because he insists on inspecting every bag he ever encounters.
Some dogs are Rain Men.
For them it’s always boxers and not briefs. Nothing new is acceptable. If you bring in a new thing, it remains
suspect for all time. Grammy’s hound
Fox, and to some extent Blue are examples of this.
After a period of time (the length of which is a complete
mystery to Mumma), the new thing goes from coveted object, to yesterday’s
news. Then no one really cares about it
and if someone happens to use it, no one gives it a passing thought. That is until you remove it and replace it
with something else new. Then it becomes
enshrined in memory as that shining golden, most favoritist thing that Mumma
took away, ruining lives in the process.
12.10.2013
12.02.2013
The Politics of Marrow Bones
Don’t let anyone tell you that dogs cannot tell time or that
they do not know what day of the week it is.
In our house, Thursdays are marrow bone days. Generally marrow bones are dispensed at
10:30a. Marrow bone day is the highlight
of Bettina’s week. She dances around the
house on Thursday mornings and every time I make a move to get up from my desk
she scrambles to ensure she is right at my side. Most often she is disappointed because I am
going to the bathroom or the kitchen to get a drink of water. Other days of the week, she may accompany me
when I get up, but not with the same stalker élan.
When the marrow bones are finally handed out, the kids take
their places in the living room. Bettina
is always to my right, facing the rear of the house and Blue is always to my left
facing the front of the house. Blue gets
his bone first since he has seniority. The
bones come straight from our freezer so the kids spend the first 10 minutes or
so gingerly licking at them and trying to avoid freezing their tongues. As the bones begin to thaw, they get down to
work.
What marrow bone on the bed mumma? |
At around the 15 minute mark, Blue picks up his bone and
moves it further away from Bettina and faces away from her. Then at the 20-25 minute mark, he determines
that is not enough of a demilitarized zone for him and so brings the bone back
to the office where I am. He works on it
for a little while lying on the rug back there.
Meanwhile Bettina has been steadily gnawing her bone in her original
location.
When we hit the 30 minute mark, Blue figures he’s no longer
on my radar and he moves with his bone from the rug to one of the beds in the
office. Mumma’s rule is that they don’t
take the bones on the beds, but I pretend not to see Blue when he does this. I figure at 70ish human years, he’s earned
the right to a little comfort.
Shortly after that Bettina arrives on the scene having ravaged
her marrow bone. She begins her campaign
of intimidation immediately. She lies
down on the rug making sure that some part of her is touching the bed that Blue
has chosen. Blue will counter this
maneuver by turning himself on the bed so as not to be able to see her. Bettina may move to the other bed and stare
at him from there or, if possible, reposition herself so Blue
Soooooo close. I will try using The Force. |
Blue takes his sweet time with his bone. He enjoys gnawing on it slowly. But he’s not very thorough. Usually when he’s done, he’s left some bits
on the inside and outside. Bettina knows
this and she makes sure to be his shadow until he leaves the bone. Blue will chew on the bone for awhile as she
stares him down. Then he tucks the bone
in between his front legs and lays down for a nap.
This makes Bettina insane.
She won’t risk invading his space to the extent it would require to get
in close enough to get that bone. She
stares at him for the next hour or so hoping to make him move with the power of
her mind. Blue takes a nice long nap at
which point he may resume gnawing on his bone.
I don't see you. |
Eventually he loses interest and gets up to do something
else at which point Bettina, who has been coiled like a spring since she came
back in the office, swoops in and grabs Blue’s abandoned bone. There are days she’ll bring her bone back to
the office and then also get Blue’s bone.
She’ll lay on her bed with both bones between her front legs and do her
best to chew them both simultaneously while in a prone position.
I have seen Bettina stay focused on Blue’s bone for more
than an hour while Blue alternately gnawed and napped. She eventually wears him down though and he
moves out to the living room to avoid the everlasting hairy eyeball. If, by chance, Bettina doesn’t bring her bone
back to the office when she comes, Blue will appropriate it. His heart isn’t in it though and he generally
gives it a few pathetic gnaws and leaves it where he found it.
By mid-day a détente has been reached. Blue doesn’t touch either bone again and
Bettina will occasionally throughout the week give one bone or the other a love
chomp. Come the next Thursday, new
battle lines are drawn and negotiations begin anew.
Labels:
Bettina,
Blue,
Marrow Bones,
Politics
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