How to Treat Separation Anxiety

I have a second job.  It involves working in local Petcos and talking to people about Blue Buffalo dog food.  In my day job, I get to work from home, so I spend all day, every day with the kids.  But since I got the second job, I now have to leave them for 4-5 hours a week.  I know everyone says you need to leave them alone at times or they’ll get separation anxiety.  The problem is they do pretty well when I go out.  I’m the one who has separation anxiety.

Bettina hanging out on the couch and Blue in his crate (web cam photo)

I figured the only way I would have any peace of mind would be to somehow be in touch with them while I was at my “other” work.  At first I would just call and talk on the answering machine.  That’s great if they were missing me but it wasn’t really doing anything for my anxiety.

So I asked for, and received, a web cam from Santa.  I set it up and I was so pleased to be able to see the kids I decided to get a second one.  The second camera has infrared so I can see the house in the dark (although I do leave lights on for the kids if I’m going to out at night). 

I have gone along blissfully checking on my kids while I am away from the house.  I can see if they’re just hanging out or where they’re laying.  I can see Bettina run back and forth to the back door to see if that noise was me coming home.  I can watch Blue’s cute ears pop straight up when HE thinks that noise was me coming home.  I can even take snapshots of them from afar and save them to my phone.

One day while at Petco, watching my dogs, I happened to show the feed to one of the Petco employees.  Being a fellow animal lover I figured she'd think it was funny, or cute.  Instead she looked at me with an utterly horrified face and said, “YOU ARE SPYING ON THEM!”  I was taken a bit aback as I had never considered it from that angle.  I was only considering my peace of mind.  Was I spying on them?  Was I as crazy as she was making me feel?

Here they are from the other web cam

Are my greyhounds entitled to some measure of privacy?  They don’t give me any privacy.  They accompany me everywhere I go, even into the bathroom.  One or both of them is always somewhere they can keep a close eye on me.  There is nothing sacred when you have a greyhound.

A web cam is an accepted training tool.  Just watch the show Lucky Dog on CBS.  That guy makes extensive use of web cams.  They are priceless when trying to monitor and correct behavior.

I looked at her a little askance and said, “No I’m not.”  I threw out all the reasons I could think of that a web cam was a good idea.  She looked at me like I had a couple heads and begged to differ with me.  I was spying on my dogs.

I guess you win some and you lose some but I’m not shutting off my web cameras.  In fact, I’m thinking of adding some in other parts of the house.  I’ve read about some web cams that allow 2-way communication.  Maybe one of those next.  But no way am I shutting them off.  It’s either that or they’re going to have to crate me while I’m at Petco.

A Tale for All Hallows Eve (Well, Really a Brag for All Hallows Eve)

The Petco where Mumma has a part-time job was having their annual Halloween contest this past Saturday.   Since getting this part-time job I haven't been able to do any of the Saturday fun activities that I used to with the kids.  But I was determined to find a way to enter them in this contest.

Luckily Grammy agreed to be bribed into going to my house and picking up the hounds and bringing them to Petco so they could be entered.  As many of you may already have suspected, they were entered as a small flock of sheep thanks to the lovely costumes that we got from Etsy.

There were an awful lot of cute costumes in the contest including a family (mom, dad, kids and two dogs) all dressed as superheroes.  As they started announcing the winners, I was hopeful but nervous.  When most creative costume went to someone else, I thought that we'd missed out.  But then they announced the grand prize winner!

Was it us?  Did we win something edible?

Victory Lap!

And here's the loot (the well-chewed marrow bone was NOT part of our winnings)

WWDSD (What Would Dr. Spock Do)?

We’ve all seen them. Some of us may even have had one. That kid on the floor in a store throwing a screaming mimi fit because something didn’t go his or her way. I admit to feeling smugly superior to those parents because I chose not to have any human children and thus would not suffer such embarrassments. Dogs would NEVER behave in that way.

But I have been brought low for my hubris. Not long ago, I took Blue and Bettina to our local Petco. We’re in the early stages of spring here in Maine and cabin fever has definitely set in for both hounds. An unscheduled jaunt to the local doggy store for treats and attention seemed like it might release some of the pressure building up in Bettina, the little steam engine that could drive you nuts.

Blue and Bettina sniffed all the pee-mail on the way into the store and left a couple of messages of their own. We went into the store and were, as usual, immediately accosted by customers, children and employees who happened to be loitering near the front. Something about the world loves a greyhound. And at least for my two, they seem to love the world.

Our usual plan is to make a big circuit of the store. We mosey down the left hand side of the store, stopping to browse in the fish department and look at the dog books. Then we wander down the treat aisle at the back of the store. We round that out by sauntering up the right hand side of the store, browsing at the toys and rawhides. We reach the front of the store and must spend some time in the rodent section so Bettina can be obsessed with the ferrets, mice, rats, hamsters, guinea pigs and any other manner of small chewing creature on display.

We usually exit the rodent area when Bettina has worked herself into a barking frenzy trying to determine a way into the ferret case, while the ferrets sit behind the glass thumbing their twitchy little noses at her. Sometimes they pay her no mind, not even bothering to open one eye from their naps as she paws at the plexiglass barking her fool head off. This insult is not easy for a 3 year old to take and so we must assuage the injured ego at the treat bar where mumma usually buys a few “bad for you” doggy treats.

 All the staff at our Petco seems to know and remember Blue and Bettina. Some people I swear I’ve never seen before come running up shouting their names and dropping to the floor for hugs and leans. At the cash register, Blue, Bettina or Blue and Bettina will head around to the back side of the counter to assist the cashier in the checkout process and maneuver their little noggins ever closer to the bucket of treats that sits recessed in every checkout counter.

Usually they get multiple handouts from this magic, never ending bucket. And believe me, they work it so hard it must hurt later. This particular day, they had extracted treats from both cashiers working the checkout lines. There were several people in line behind us waiting to check out so I finished paying for the bag of goodies and turned to leave. Blue and Bettina stayed at the counter. This isn’t unusual since they aren’t stupid enough to let a good thing end if it doesn’t have to. Usually I call and they will reluctantly exit the store with me.

I called and tried some tugging on the leashes. Blue glumly headed in my direction, but Bettina stood fast. I could see the eyes of the person waiting in line behind me begin to roll impatiently and I must admit to being a bit embarrassed by the willful little beast at the end of the leash. I started to sweat a little and began speaking to Bettina as though A) she was a small child and B) she could actually understand what I was saying. Things came out of my mouth like, “come on sweet girl, we’ll come back again soon, mumma promises.” Or, “Bettina, you’re being a bad girl, now come with mumma right now or we won’t ever come back.” And, “Come on Bettina we can’t stay here all day, there are other people waiting to check out.”

I glanced back at the other people waiting to check out and gave them a weak smile. No one was impressed. Sweating a little more now, I started to tug on Bettina’s leash in earnest but she leaned back and twisted her head away from me. Not wanting to appear to be abusing her, I got behind Bettina and scooched her forward. I managed to get her off to the side slightly so the next person could glare at me and check out at the same time. Bettina, upon figuring out where all this scooching was leading to, quickly turned right and ran behind one of the checkout counters (at least as far as her leash would allow).

Now that I wasn’t holding up the checkout line any longer, the people in line started to view my predicament as less of an annoyance and more of an amusement. I had completely lost my head and I was begging and pleading with a greyhound to please be a good girl and we had to leave but I swore on my own life that we’d come back to the doggy store again. Nope. Nothing doing.

It was then that I had a moment of clarity. I suddenly saw Bettina as the screaming bratty little toddler that she was being and I realized that I WAS one of those parents that I had so disdained. Worse, I could see that same thought in the eyes of all the other people waiting to check out as they watched me fail miserably to control a 60 pound dog.  What would Dr. Spock do in this same situation? Honestly, I didn’t give a full poopy bag what Dr. Spock would have done. I bent down, hoisted a struggling hound into my arms and made an extremely ungraceful exit from Petco, dragging poor Blue along behind me and dropping my car keys a couple times just for good measure.

To Dream the Possible Dream

I’m just going to throw this out there. We have visited, and will visit in the future, animal communicators. I know some people believe that animal communication is possible, and others think it is a bunch of hooey. I personally waiver on the issue, however, I am willing to keep an open mind on the subject. Sometimes, while I’m sitting there across from the communicator, I desperately want it to be true. So those of you who do not believe, can read this missive, laugh and think what a crazy person I am. Those of you who believe, you’ll probably relate to what I’m about to tell you all.

While I’m not entirely sure it is possible to communicate with our pets, I definitely love the idea that I might have some conduit into their mysterious little minds. At various events, we’ve probably sat with four or five different communicators in the Southern and Mid-Coast Maine area. Of those we’ve met, it seemed like two really had a connection with the kids. Everything they said had relevance to their personality or to specific events. Of the two communicators, our favorite is Sara Moore. For that reason, we’ve visited Sara more than a few times.

The first time I visited Sara with Bettina in tow, I was very interested to see what Bettina had to say. Bettina isn’t shy about expressing her opinions, but usually it is via sign language or barks, growls, howls and whines. Being a fairly astute observer of my kid’s behavior I have no doubt what many of those communications meant. Still, what did she think of her new situation? What was this little black diva thinking?

Typically when we visit a communicator, I have a list of specific questions I’m looking for answers to. I also check on their health status-anything hurt? Anything out of whack? Then, when I’ve gotten all my answers, I ask if there is anything that the kids may want to say/tell me.

Turns out Bettina thought it was very important to let me know that her favorite color is purple. Not just any purple, but lavender. Being the true royal that she is, she demanded a lilac colored coat. And a purple collar. Oh and while I’m at it, she would also like her toenails painted purple. Huh? Who does she think she is some spoiled reality star?

Still, I want to be a good mom. Plus her royal demands allow me to do something that mumma loves, make the kids fashion plates with fabulous coats and accessories. I also think Dr. Phil would tell me that it’s never a good idea to crush anyone’s dreams. Yes. That’s exactly what he’d tell me. I’m sure of it.

In my best “what baby wants, baby gets” fashion, we began the search. At the Maine Greyhound Placement Service Annual Reunion, we found two purple collars. Neither were lavender but until we found the perfect one, they looked great on Bettina. Plus they were on clearance. At the fabric store I procured lavender flannel which will make a beautiful coat for my tiara wearing beast.

Collar, check. Coat, check (well, sort of). That left toenails. I did some research and decided I would order her some doggy nail polish to put in her Christmas stocking. Bettina is impatient and she decided she had no intention of waiting that long. Her opportunity presented itself so perfectly, I am slightly afraid at her ability to bend the will of the universe to her own purposes. It must be her superpower. Only I’m not certain that this power will always be used for good. In fact, I’m certain it will be used for purposes that are not at all altruistic. Case in point: this past weekend Blue, Bettina and I were working a Meet & Greet on behalf of Maine Greyhound Placement Service. Our table was at an annual event called Gardiner Barks in the Park.

Though the day was beautiful, the festival wasn’t very busy. Our table happened to be next to the Petco grooming salon table. We had plenty of time to chat with and get to know our neighbors. Bettina waged a campaign to charm Lindsay, the grooming salon manager. She was cute and friendly and most agreeable. She was on her best behavior.

I didn’t think too much on it until Lindsay kindly offered to trim and Dremel both kids’ nails since it was so slow. That is a job I definitely do not relish. Whenever I get out the nail clippers, it’s big wide eyes, big deep sighs and constant pulling away of the feet and screaming bloody murder when I haven’t even clipped anything yet. You can bet that mumma gratefully accepted that offer. Lindsay did Blue’s nails first. As usual, when your kids are in the care of strangers, Blue was good as gold.

The time came to do Bettina’s nails and Her Royal Highness laid herself out, as if to provide easy access to her nails. The only thing she didn’t do was regally extend each paw. As Lindsay clipped and Dremeled Bettina’s nails, I could swear there was a little more animal communication going on there. Bettina was looking intently at Lindsay and something must have passed between them because seconds later Lindsay asked if she could paint Bettina’s nails.

I explained that Bettina had actually requested this very service when we visited the animal communicator. Without blinking an eye, Lindsay asked me what color Bettina said she wanted. Her eyes lit up when I told her and soon an assistant was standing next to us with a snazzy metallic purple doggy nail polish. Bettina lay back and closed her eyes as Lindsay transformed her nails into her purple dream.

I’m not sure there will be any living with her now that she has had her spa day. I better get busy with that purple flannel and my sewing machine. She’s strutting around the house like a small, hairy, black and purple peacock. From here on out, I’m going to rethink asking those open ended questions when we visit the animal communicator.