Dennis and Bettina hope that the fourth is with you today.
The incredible, amazing adventures of a girl and her two greyhounds living in a small town in the boon-docks of Maine.
5.04.2016
4.06.2016
The Dennis Chronicles
We have a new family member!
Bettina and I adopted Dennis (Hallo Prospect) from Fast Friends on March
9th. Normally I would have
posted such good news right away. But
this adoption was not like any of the other three I had already
experienced. I thought I would share our
story so that any new (or experienced) adopters out there take heart if they
find themselves in my situation.
I first met Dennis via a photograph on Facebook. I had just started following the page for
Fast
Friends that very day. Shortly thereafter Dennis’ photo popped up in my feed. He was a stunning hound. Just breathtaking. He’s a super dark brindle and his face almost appears black. The photo looked like they had photo shopped a black hounds head onto a brindle body. It stopped me and I took a moment to read the blurb that was posted with the photo. It said he was a “big” boy with a big heart who loved to play (especially with balls).
Friends that very day. Shortly thereafter Dennis’ photo popped up in my feed. He was a stunning hound. Just breathtaking. He’s a super dark brindle and his face almost appears black. The photo looked like they had photo shopped a black hounds head onto a brindle body. It stopped me and I took a moment to read the blurb that was posted with the photo. It said he was a “big” boy with a big heart who loved to play (especially with balls).
I looked at him a moment longer and moved on. But then I came back. I posted a comment asking how big was big and
how old was he? I got a quick response
and an invitation to call. I found
myself picking up the phone and calling.
From there Bettina and I drove to Fast Friends to meet Dennis. I took a deep breath and said I would like to
proceed forward with a home visit.
It took a few weeks before they could bring Dennis to
Maine. I waivered back and forth during
that time as to whether or not now was the right time for me. We were only 2 months out from Blue’s
unexpected departure. But as we got
closer to the date of the visit, I found myself getting more and more excited
and thinking of him as mine. I decided
that was a good sign. The wonderful
ladies from Fast Friends arrived on the appointed day with Dennis in tow. They found us and our habitation suitable and
soon I was waving goodbye to them with Dennis’ leash in my hands.
Here is where things began to get tough for me. Let me start by saying Dennis was the easiest
of my greyhounds with respect to just coming out of a kennel and into a
home. He picked things up very
quickly. He wasn’t perfect of
course. None of them are. But he did amazingly well. That was likely our saving grace. I found myself having a completely unexpected
emotional reaction to Dennis’ arrival at our house. I found myself comparing him to the perfect
Blue I had just lost and finding him lacking because he didn’t come knowing all
the stuff Blue knew. I felt numb inside
and couldn’t muster up one ounce of loving feeling towards this hound.
Let me say right here that I adopted Bettina 1 month after I
had lost Girly Girl. GG was my heart dog. And I did not go through any of this with
Bettina’s arrival. I never once compared
her to Girly Girl. And I knew
intellectually that it wasn’t something that you can do with any hound. None of them will be the same and none is “better”
than another, just different. I expected
the same situation with Dennis. But my
heart wasn’t cooperating with me and my brain couldn’t make it do so.
He arrived on a Wednesday and by the third day I found
myself sitting on the couch and completely breaking down. I was convinced that this had been a huge
mistake and that it had been way too soon to bring another hound in. I felt like I wasn’t ever going to connect
with Dennis. I am sad and somewhat
ashamed to say that I was probably a few hours away from calling the rescue and
asking to bring him back. Instead I
spoke with my mother. She let me sob for
awhile and then said, “You know, if you’re going to bring him back, you need to
do it now before he forms a bond with you.”
When she said that, I felt my chest tighten up and I
realized that somewhere down under all the emotional crap I did indeed feel
something for this dog. But my
unexpected emotional reaction was blocking me from realizing it. I decided then and there that I was going to
work my way through it. I knew that
Dennis was not the issue. So I made a
rule for myself. Absolutely no judgments
about Dennis, how he was doing, fitting in or learning until a minimum of 2
weeks out from his Gotcha Day.
I also sat down at my computer the next morning and wrote
out a few other rules for myself.
Whenever I found myself panicking that I’d made the wrong decision
adopting so soon, or felt like he was never going to be as smart, good, loving
or funny as Blue, I would read the rules.
I posted them in my kitchen where I could see them all the time. What are the rules? Here is what I set down for myself:
RULES FOR A NEW GREYHOUND
1. Make no judgments until 2 weeks in.
2. Do not put pressure on yourself or on the dog
to make some sort of instant love connection.
Relationships take time to build.
3. Your job initially is to keep the dog safe,
healthy and teach them how to live a retired life.
4. Keep telling yourself-they know essentially
nothing about life in a home. Don’t
expect it of them.
5. Trust also takes time to build. Do not expect it right away.
6. Pare your animal husbandry down to a minimum. Feed basic food, wait to bathe or clip nails
or brush teeth until you have built some trust.
7. If the dog does not like yogurt, or olive
oil, or omega oils this is not the end of the world.
8. You cannot compare this dog to any dog past
or present. None of the past or present
dogs were perfect initially, even if they seem that way now in comparison.
I made sure they were in nice large type and also saved them
to my computer desktop so I could look at them throughout the day. Now, any of you with prior greyhound
experience will be saying, these are no brainers. We all know that. And I agree.
I knew them also. However, it is
apparently possible to get so overwhelmed by your emotions that you lose sight
of what is or should be common sense.
I’m happy to say that at some point between the 1 and 2 week
mark, I got control of my bizarre emotions relating to this adoption (and the
emotions were totally about me and adopting, nothing to do with Dennis himself). I started looking at Dennis the same way I
looked at all my new greyhounds prior to him. This is to say, I was able to do
away with the rules because I already knew them and now my heart was on board
to. We have connected and trust is
starting to build. I’m using the same
methods to teach Dennis about his new environment that I used with the others
and it’s working out so well. He’s super
smart. I love this dog. He’s darn near perfect now and I can’t wait
to see him in 6 months, a year, and 5 years down the road.
I knew I loved him when I finally sat down and ordered a tag
collar for him. That involved committing
money to the project (being a Yankee, I hate to waste money) and more
importantly the fact that his name and my contact information were going to be
engraved permanently on a piece of metal that he will wear. His tag collar has been shipped and hopefully
it will arrive next week some
time.
time.
Making use of your network of greyhound friends and family
can really help to. Many times when I
was emotionally overwhelmed I had a chat with someone I knew and trusted. They were usually able to help talk me off
the ledge. Fast Friends has also been
totally supportive and they have kept in contact with me. It’s possible someone from Fast Friends may
read this post and learn just how hard a time I had initially. Up to now I hadn’t
shared any of my emotional struggles with them.
If they do read this I want them to know that Dennis was always well
cared for and never put in any kind of danger, nor was he treated with anything
but kindness. Now that my heart has caught
up with my brain, he’s very much loved. I
hope they don’t cross me off their list of potential adopters in the
future!
I also hope that sharing my story may help someone else dealing
with a similar situation realize that sometimes there are bumps when you adopt. Even someone who has experience with
greyhounds can be taken totally by surprise by these feelings. Sometimes the best and only thing you can
accomplish on some days is just to breathe.
And that is OK.
1.18.2016
My Grosse Liebe (My Big Love)
My Big Poppy, my sweet boy, my grosse liebe has crossed the bridge
on January 16th. I’d love to be more
eloquent in delivering this news but honestly I’m not sure I’ll be able to get
through typing this. This turn of events
was so unexpected that I’m still in shock.
I’m numb. But unfortunately not
numb enough because I feel the incredible pain that his departure has caused.
I know that some of you may be thinking, geez he was 12
years old. Your time with him was
short. And I agree. Every day I had with him was a gift and I
knew that. But I had managed to convince
myself that he would not leave me until after his 14th
birthday. And up until Saturday morning,
his issues were very run of the mill. At least they had seemed that way.
He had turned up with a small bruise on the inside of his
thigh Monday evening. I hadn’t seen any
event that would have led to such a bruise, but it certainly happens that they
fall, or play a little rough and someone has an unexplained boo-boo. The next day the bruise had spread, and the
day after that as well. But by Thursday
it had begun to heal up. It was all
going exactly according to my prior experience with greyhounds and bruises.
![]() |
Photo courtesy of Bille Axell, Axell Photography |
I called Dr. Amy and soon we were on our way to see
her. By the time we reached her office,
his leg had swollen further and an ugly purple bruise covered the inside of his
leg. Dr. Amy did x-rays and blood
tests. Her news was not good. It appeared to be hemangiosarcoma. She had seen it before and it had presented
just like this. But to be sure, she
wanted to send us to a vet hospital further south where they had experts to
evaluate it.
I headed south. My
poor baby tried to be stoic but I could hear him crying in the back and it was
killing me. Given we were in the midst of a snowstorm I could
not go any more than 45 miles per hour and I have never felt more helpless in
my life. We finally got there and Blue
wasn’t able to get out of the car. His
entire leg was swollen up and extremely bruised. They got him situated and eventually came to
talk to me.
Their opinion was hemangiosarcoma, osteosarcoma or possibly
a blood clot. Of the 3 only the blood
clot was potentially survivable but given the fact they could not get a pulse
in the damaged leg and it had been that way for so long, he would most likely
be facing amputation regardless of the eventual diagnosis. And to properly diagnose it they would have
to conduct more blood tests and a series of pelvic x-rays that, given his
state, would have been very painful for him.
After the tests, they would have wanted to keep him onsite on IV pain
medication pending a consult with an internist on Monday.
My big baby boy was just that, a big baby. He was very squeamish and he did not deal
with pain very well. I had made him a
promise when we had lost the fight for Girly Girl’s life that if it ever came
to that with him, I would not put him through it. Such an easy promise to make when you
aren’t actually facing that situation. I spent a good deal of time going back and forth trying to decide what to do. The vet we were seeing was very kind but refused to give me any percentages on outcomes and wouldn’t even give me her opinion on “what she would do.” That probably wasn’t a fair question to ask her. But I was so lost sitting in that sterile room trying to decide life or death for a soul that meant the entire world to me. My heart wanted to do everything possible to keep him longer.
aren’t actually facing that situation. I spent a good deal of time going back and forth trying to decide what to do. The vet we were seeing was very kind but refused to give me any percentages on outcomes and wouldn’t even give me her opinion on “what she would do.” That probably wasn’t a fair question to ask her. But I was so lost sitting in that sterile room trying to decide life or death for a soul that meant the entire world to me. My heart wanted to do everything possible to keep him longer.
I finally asked if they would bring him in so I could sit
with him for awhile. I hoped that I’d
see some clear sign in his eyes. I had
hoped for that with Girly Girl as well.
People always say that you’ll know when it’s time. But so far I have not had a clear message on
that score for either Blue or Girly Girl.
Most of you reading this will have been in my shoes at some point in the
past. So you know that there is truly
nothing more terrible than trying to make a life or death decision for someone
who cannot express their wishes. Who has
no say and only relies on you to make the right decision. It is a terrible awesome responsibility.
I kept going back to three things. He was 12 years old. We had had a great run and by greyhound
standards he had lived a good long life.
I had promised him I would not make him suffer any more than absolutely
necessary, even if that meant I had to let him go. And a dear friend who had just gone through
this same tragedy with her greyhound told me that her guiding principle was: it
was better to do this thing a day too soon than a day too late. In other words, no extra suffering just for
your selfish wishes to keep them with you as long as possible.
So I called the vet back in and told her it was time to let
me baby go. I had sat with him in my
arms while trying to make this final decision and I stayed there with him in my
arms while they prepared everything. I
told him over and over again how much he meant to me. Thanked him for making my life so much
brighter. Reassured him that Girly Girl
would be waiting for him and that he’d run again with no pain. I told him Mumma and Bettina would be all
right. And when it was time, he would
come and meet us. He went out of this
world with Mumma telling him how much she loved him.
Blue was an old soul.
A friend called him a gentleman greyhound. He was very much that. I am already missing his gentle good morning
wake up (always an hour too early but he did have a snooze button). I miss our special cuddle times on the couch
on Saturday and Sunday mornings. I miss
seeing him lying on his big boy bed with his man pillow and his cozy blankets. I miss the cheer-leading him up the stairs when he
struggled to come up due to pain in his back end. I miss mushing up his peas so he could eat
them with all his missing teeth. I miss
having to slightly cook his chicken livers because he couldn’t stand the
texture of raw ones. I miss him standing
at his food dish at suppertime and chirping at me to urge me to hurry it
along. I miss him staring at me intently
with his ears straight up, trying to tell me some important thing. Mumma’s head was always too thick to receive
the message. Blue had more friends than
I ever have had or ever will have. He
was responsible for a number of greyhound adoptions among our friends. I know that all greyhounds are special, but
there was something about his manner that made him stand out among a field of
stand outs.
At this point, with the waves of sorrow and pain coming
every few minutes, I don’t know if I’ll bring another hound home. I told Blue we would do so in order to honor
his memory. I’m sure in a month or 6
months or a year when the pain is a dull ache and the waves are more spread
out, I’ll feel differently. At least I
hope so. There will never be another
Blue. But he made such a difference in
so many lives while he was here. If ever
a hound earned his wings, Blue has.
![]() |
Sleep softly sweet prince. Royal Bluejay (Blue) 12/10/2003-1/16/2016 |
Post Script: I hope all of our friends will forgive us for letting you know this news via this channel. It was hard for Mumma to type this at all let alone type it many times in various emails.
Post Post Script: Grammy
had a visit in a dream on Saturday night (the first night without Blue). She was visited by Blue, Girly Girl, Fox and
Bea (Blue’s littermate and beloved of Joe Shuster). They were running together in a big field of
tall grass. They were all young and
sleek and running with sheer joy. Blue
stopped and came back to the bridge, as though unsure which side he belonged
on. Fox, Girly Girl and Bea lay down to
wait for him. Then Grammy woke up.
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